A day of munchin' on sea urchin

Master invited another one of his many friends, and a cook named Pomponius came along too. Pomponius proceeded to cook some sea urchins that his master had ordered him to bring to my master's house. He taught me how to cook it:

Take a new earthen pot, a little oil, broth, sweet wine, ground pepper, and set it to heat; when boiling put the urchins in singly. Shake them well, let them stew, and when done sprinkle with pepper and serve.

Pomponius's master gracefully rewarded us with some leftovers for our hard work. I was quite excited for I have never tasted these strange looking creatures of the sea. When Pomponius saw how confused I looked as I tried to figure out how to eat the beasts, he cracked a few wise jokes on me, which became rather annoying after his 8th joke. I now realized exactly how my master's guests must have felt when my master made similar jokes to them regarding exotic food. To my delight, Romanus stuffed one entirely with pepper and encouraged it into Pomponius's bowl. Pomponius could not see me heartily patting Romanus on the back for his vision was obscured with tears as he was half-choking.

A good night overall, I must say.

Flamin' Flamingo

My master finally managed to get a flamingo from a merchant who came to town from a far away place called Antalya. He was in the mood for some hot food today, and he was inspired by the bright red feathers of the flamingo to have it cooked spicy. I obliged.

Phoenicoptero

Scald the flamingo, wash and dress it, put it in a pot, add water, salt, dill, and a little vinegar, to be parboiled. Finish cooking with a bunch of leeks and coriander, and add some reduced must to give it color. In the mortar crush pepper, cumin, coriander, laser root, mint, rue, moisten with vinegar, add dates, and the fond of the braised bird, thicken, strain, cover the bird with the sauce and serve. Parrot is prepared in the same manner.

I almost forgot to scald the bird before removing the feathers. Fine feathers should be singed. For spicy oomph, and to indulge the mistress' love of pepper, I added 5 times the recommended amount of pepper. Tears flowed freely from my eyes, but the Mussel Man really loved it. He asked me to cook the tongue separately, and he shared it with the mistress.

Mussel Man

Before Rufus left, he taught me a simple seafood dish as a gustatio:

Mussels in Sweet Wine Sauce

Mix liquamen, chopped leek, cumin, savory and sweet wine, dilute with water and cook the mussels in it.

Master loved it. So did the mistress. They loved it so much that they dispatched one of the servants to the coast to hire a fisherman to gather mussels exclusively for them. The first batch came in this morning, and the master was in a very good spirit for the entire day. "Mussel man," we call him in the kitchen now.

Privileged, still a slave nonetheless

Today was a big day. Septimius, the brother of Emperor Claudius, has graced my master with his presence at dinner. The entire household has been preparing for his arrival since last month actually. My master has copiously reminded me the importance of his guest of honor and, as such, much responsibility has been placed on my shoulders. This was one of his shining moments to remind others of his prominence, and the food was to be impeccable. I have been scouring the market for ingredients for weeks. The cooking for the convivia began a week ago.

The dinner lasted for the entire night. Thankfully, Septimius brought along his own cook, Rufus. Rufus told me quite frankly that Septimius is under the impression that no other cooks can satisfy his oh-so-sensitive palate, but I was glad to be relieved from preparing Septimius's meal anyways. After all the guests had eaten until unconscious, Rufus and I had some of the leftovers by the kitchen fire. He began to tell me stories of unfortunate events that befell on some of his acquaintances, who were(!) also cooks. One cook in Metapontum received 100 lashes for not using enough salt to season the fish. Yet another in Apuleius hung himself to avoid his master's punishment after a dog finished an expensive ham of a stag.

I know for certain that I will not have to fear such repercussions for my master is a good man. In fact, before he retired for the night, my master bestowed a hefty praise on me with a silver cup despite the fact that some of the dishes could have been better. As much as I sincerely appreciate my master's kindness, I am reminded of the fact that my life is at the mercy of someone else whether I hear about an unfortunate end of a fellow cook or receive a gift from my master. Oh, how I wish to be a free man! Once Romanus is ready to take my place, I shall ask my master for my freedom. I have an inkling that my master knows and has already acquiesced to my wish. The other day, I caught a glimpse of my master looking over while I was teaching Romanus how to cook master's favorite dish, steamed lamb. Once it was served for dinner, he gave me a knowing nod as to approve Romanus preparing his favorite dish from then on.

For now, though, still a privileged slave.

Some common ingredients

Romanus, the boy whom I am teaching how to cook, mentioned with great difficulty that he sometimes does not know what certain ingredients are called. Although he has been cooking some very simple dishes with those ingredients, he has been doing so without really knowing their names. So for the benefit of my dear Romanus and others, here are four very common ingredients.

Caroenum: Boiled must (you have to boil the new wine or grape juice until it is only half the amount you started with).
Defritum: Either thick fig syrup, or must that's boiled until you have only a third of the amount with which you started.
Liquamen: a salty fish sauce. Most of the time you can replace it by salt.
Passum: Very sweet wine sauce, made by boiling the must (new wine or grape juice) to thicken it.

Better late than never.

Desserts

The mistress, who recently became pregnant, had a pretty powerful, scary sugar/nut craving today, so I set out to make some desserts.

Here is my own recipe: DULCIA DOMESTICA

Take the stones out of the dates and fill them with nuts or stone-pine kernels. Sprinkle a bit of salt on the filled dates and stew them in honey or honey-sweetened red wine. The dates have to be cooked in on low heat until their paring starts to come off (approximately 5-10 minutes).

I usually fill some of the dates with pepper because that is the way the mistress likes, but judging from her voracious desire for sweetness, I filled the dates with nuts and honey this time.

Amazingly, after finishing more than 50 dates, the mistress still wanted more sweet food. I obliged.

ALITER DULCIA

Mesh pepper, pine kernels, honey, rue, and Passum with milk and eggs, and boil the dough. Serve topped with honey and sprinkle with pepper.

Once again, I used very little pepper and substituted honey instead. I need to remember to buy more honey tomorrow for I have used almost all the honey in the kitchen.

Boiled Eggs

The pine-nut sauce keeps this gustum interesting. I send out eggs when I know that my main dish will take a while to cook, as they help to stave off the guests' hunger for just long enough.

Sauce: Pepper and soaked pine nuts. Add honey and vinegar and mix with garum.

Eggs are a favorite gustum in the house, and only second to dormice. They are such a central food. Horace's quite brilliant phrase, "From the egg to the apples," sums up the perfect typical Roman meal. I laughed quite a bit when I first heard the phrase from snatches of dinner conversation.

Mustacei

Oh, where would we be without wine? I'm sure men would have killed each other off long ago if not for the happiness the fine grape brings.

To make these rolls, I spare some of the sweet must that is produced from pressing grapes. The rest of the must is carefully stored in dolium to make wine.

MUST ROLLS

Pour some must over flour, add anise, cumin seeds, the lard, and cheese. Work it together until you have a reasonable dough. Form rolls, then put one bay leaf under each of them. Bake.

This recipe comes from the good Cato, yet another man who understood the importance of learning the ways of the farmer. He came before Columella, for I remember the man giving credit to Cato in many parts of his work.

Roasted Dormice

I do not think I could possibly find a sweeter and more endearing animal than the dormouse. It is quite undeserving of the Romans' tendency to consume it in vast quantities.

The Stoic Seneca was right to criticize the practice of eating flamingo tongues - I dare not say this to my master, who constantly and heartily ridiculed this particular opinion of the man in front of everyone, including the slaves - but I wonder why he did not have more to say about the deaths of these poor little things.

The children of the family have a lot of fun feeding and playing with the mice as they fatten up. The creatures become fattened to bursting, and especially docile, when they are transferred to the perforated jars specifically designed for such a purpose.

Most of the slaves and I do not have the heart to inform the children that the dear animals they coo to are destined for the oven.

It is probably why they munch so happily on the finished dish when I have it brought to the table.

DORMOUSE

Pound dormouse meat with pepper. Place in an earthenware bowl with caraway, cumin, bay leaves, dates, honey, vinegar, wine, liquamen, and olive oil. Roast in the oven.

Ova Sfongia with Milk and Honey Melons

OVA SFONGIA

Mix eggs, milk and oil. Fry in a pan and serve topped with honey and a little pepper.

I can also make a tiropatinam, which uses the same ingredients but is more like a custard, if the family prefers something lighter.

HONEY MELONS

Cook diced melons in a pan together with spices and herbs until done. Sometimes silphium is added.

It has become more and more difficult to procure silphium. I have taken to using bits of our precious stores and combining them with leek. I've recently heard of asafoetida, which is very bitter-smelling but becomes quite similar to silphium when cooked.

The combination of fruit with more savory herbs is an interesting one that is often repeated in Apicius' book. I would personally never have thought to mix the two, but the result is often a quite tasty blend of salt complimenting the sweet. Many cooks have also taken to mixing garum and honey, myself included, to replicate the effect.

A typical day

I'll take a brief break from the recipes, but I cannot describe my daily life for long without involving food in some way.

So what exactly do I do all day?

When I was first assigned to the kitchen, I was almost constantly busy. I was in charge of gathering and preparing raw ingredients, making sauces, cleaning meat and fish, and cleaning pots, pans, dishes, and the general kitchen area.

I've since proved my worth and am now allowed to delegate busywork to other kitchen slaves. I do still like to lend a helping hand in the work rather than just oversee, because I am held responsible for making sure it is done right. I also do not want the other slaves to see me as someone who has forgotten where he came from.

I must always rise early. Ientaculum must be ready before the family awakens. Fresh-baked bread is extremely important, as it is yet another mark of my master's status. His children have no need to walk further than their table to enjoy a mouthful of warm bread. I also see to it that fresh eggs, fruit, and cheese, along with milk and honey, are set out with the bread.

Prandium is composed of similar stuff. I am usually able to serve more warm bread from the oven, along with fruit, nuts, and olives.

The cena is the meal I often need to prepare for all day, for I must prepare the gustum, a hearty mensa prima, and the sweet mensa secunda. Fried or roasted dormice are a favorite gustum in the family. When we have important guests, I must pull out all stops and do whatever the mistress orders. She will usually call for a good roast ostrich or peacock, a magnificent roast boar, or maybe a large selection of fish and shellfish to serve as the caput cenae. When the family is dining without guests, I will make regular favorites like fried veal or a small fish dish. To finish off the meal, I often send out cooked fruit and ova sfongia dressed in plenty of passum that matches the taste of the fine wine that my master has chosen.

That's just the cooking part.

Sometimes I will have the chance to go to the forum, if I so choose, unless I opt to send another slave with a list. I will usually go along to help choose which things look freshest and tastiest, as I have quite a bit of experience. The marketplace is quite chaotic, but fortunately many sellers already recognize our master's name and will have the finest wares set aside for us when we arrive.

At the end of the day, I retire to my own quarters. I have one of the nicest slave rooms in the house, due to my important position as cook. I could almost say that I am the most important slave in the entire household, since my master's grand feasts have become widely renowned. Now every feast he holds must inspire respect and awe in his guests without fail, lest he lose his social standing.

I am proud to serve at my master's great house, and I feel as though I am truly a part of it. He praises and rewards me for my cooking. However, I obviously do not want this to be my life forever. I would give up the security of my position as a slave in an instant for the risks of being a solitary freeman. But I feel that the day will come soon, and my master and I will part amicably. I am currently training one of the younger kitchen slaves in hopes that he can take my place when I am gone.

How to make a fine passum

Mago was another farmer-author. I always make sure to follow his directions for passum, as the stuff turns out heady and sweet without fail.

Harvest well-ripened very early bunches of grapes; reject any mildewed or damaged grapes. Fix in the ground forked branches or stakes not over four feet apart, linking them with poles. Lay reeds across them and spread the grapes on these in the sun, covering them at night to keep dew off. When they have dried, pick the grapes, put them in a fermenting vat or jar and add the best possible must (grape juice) so that they are just covered. When the grapes have absorbed it all and have swelled, after six days, put them in a basket, press them and collect the passum.

After this is done, I make sure to use the rest for the passum secundarium.

Then tread the pressed grapes, adding very fresh must made from other grapes that have been sun-dried for three days. Mix all this and put the mixed mass through the press. Put this passum secundarium into sealed vessels immediately so that it will not become too austerum. After twenty or thirty days, when fermentation has ceased, rack into other vessels, seal the lids with gypsum and cover them with skins.

This ensures that I will have plenty on the days my master brings home wild boar.

Patina of Pears

PEARS

Mesh cooked and peeled pears without core together with pepper, cumin, honey, passum, liquamen, and oil. Add eggs and heat. Serve with a sprinkle of pepper.

Tastewise, I personally prefer pears to apricots. But pears also mean that cold weather is near, so you could say that they are a bittersweet sort of fruit.

I never did think it was necessary to put pepper on fruit dishes, but it is has become such a common practice that people have grown accustomed to the taste. The mistress harshly chastised me for leaving it off once.

I actually don't see anything wrong with eating the fruit pure, plain, and ripe from the trees. Pears are a sacred, beautiful fruit, the fruit of the lovely Hera and Aphrodite. Why not enjoy the symbols of these goddesses in an unmarred form?

Perhaps eating fruit raw is too similar to the habits of the poor. Pepper is an expensive spice, so I suppose it is good to develop a taste for it to show your status when you are out or entertaining in the home.

I do not like it because it is a common practice for unskilled cooks in rich houses to extravagantly pepper their foods in order to disguise their inferior cooking. I have no need to resort to such wiles.

Columella Salad and Green and Baian Beans

Apicius knew a thing or two about meat and desserts, but the great Columella had a good eye for salads. I heard that he left the career of a tribune to become a good farmer of numerous fields. Who better to judge vegetables than the farmer himself?

COLUMELLA SALAD

Put savory in the mortar with mint, rue, coriander, parsley, sliced leek, or, if it is not available, onion, lettuce and rocket leaves, green thyme, or catmint. Also pennyroyal and salted fresh cheese. This is all crushed together. Stir in a little peppered vinegar. Put this mixture on a plate and pour oil over it.

A salad is perfect as a light gustum dish when the master desires to take a quick lunch alone. It is also quite simple to make. It can calm the stomach after many meals of rich foods.

I admire Columella for his emphasis on the simple. When I'm in the kitchen plucking the feathers from yet another exotic bird, I can see why he longed for a time when rich and poor ate the same food and meals had not yet become a part of the neverending status contest. Food is just food, really.

BEANS

Cook beans with Liquamen, oil, leek and spices. Serve.

I have gathered that beans, like wild boar, are another status food. The master always is certain to ask me to season and dress the beans "beyond recognition" when I am preparing them for his family or for guests. Plain beans are commonly eaten in poorer families, so it is important for a man of his wealth and status not to lower himself to puls. At times he will serve them to his less important guests, but will still ask that I prepare them so they are unrecognizable.

I do not prepare beans very often, and even less often now, for my master is beginning to consider the teachings of the Pythagoreans as rewritten by Aristotle.

Roast Tuna and Minutal Marinum

It is always an interesting change of pace to make fish once in a while. The master orders fish from the coast, where it is brought to the house by the swiftest runners. I am always aware of how lucky I am to be working with such quality food in this grand house.

MINTUAL MARINUM
Put the fish in a pan, add liquamen, oil, wine and broth. Chop fillets into small pieces and add coriander and leek. Bring to boil. When finished, sprinkle pepper to serve.

I must take great care not to leave bones in this. I heard that a slave lost his life for causing one of the master's children to poke his cheek on a hard fish rib bone. While I chop the fish, I am constantly searching and searching for the shiny bits that I've missed. I'll admit that I have nightmares about fish bones - bones that keep ceaselessly appearing whenever I turn over a bit of fish, bones that I spot once a slave has carried the tray out to the dining area. I awake in quite a sweat. Thankfully, my nightmares have not become reality.

ROAST TUNA

Sauce for roast tuna: pepper, lovage, mint, onion, a little vinegar, and oil.

I like making tuna just because of its cheery color. It is a hearty and simple fish to cook. I usually use a light hand in dispensing the pepper. Sometimes when a runner has been too slow, however, I must disguise the flavor it has obtained from its long journey with some extra spices. I try my best not to criticize the runner, for I do not wish to cause any executions!

Gustum of Apricots, Boiled Ostrich, Steamed Lamb

BOILED OSTRICH

Now for a fun dish. Few of my fellow slaves even get the chance to see such a bird, let alone clean, kill, pluck, and prepare it! Is this really a privilege? I consider it one. Well, mostly when I'm seeing it boiling in a pot after I've struggled and scratched with it for eons.

My master has not yet been able to secure a flamingo like the one depicted in this mosaic, but I must say I am quite curious as to see how lively they are and how they will taste. I hear their stink is quite intolerable, but it is no matter because the rich usually eat only the tongues anyway.

I prepare ostrich only for the most special occasions. I usually can delegate the task of buying and carrying the ostrich to another slave, as my master desires that I rest well before I cook this important dish.

For boiled ostrich: pepper, mint, roast cumin, celery seed, honey, vinegar, passum, garum, a little oil. Put these in the pot and bring to a boil. Bind with amulum, pour over the pieces of ostrich in a serving dish and sprinkle with pepper. To cook the ostrich in the sauce, add alica.

When deciding whether or not to add alica, I ask a server to gauge how a feast is going and report back to me. If the guests are gorged on previous dishes, I will do without it. If they are eagerly awaiting this centerpiece I opt for the heavier sauce and add the alica.

STEAMED LAMB

Put cutlets into pot, together with diced onion and spices. Add Liquamen, oil and wine. Be sure to cover meat with sauce before serving.

This is a quick and simple dish to prepare. It can be made with leftover lamb from a feast day, which is fortunate for I am usually quite worn out from cooking without stop for feasts.

GUSTUM OF APRICOTS

Clean hard-skinned early fruit, remove the stones. Put them with water, ground pepper, and dried mint. Add liquamen, honey, passum, wine and vinegar. Heat with oil in a pan. Sprinkle with pepper and serve.

This is easy to make and the children enjoy it. It is a useful dish at times when the family is too impatient to wait for fruit to ripen, but also desires that it be sweet. Perhaps this recipe was first created by some harried cook doing his best to solve this problem and avoid having his hands cut off or being thrown into the furnace. Honey and passum can fix anything, really.

Roast Wild Boar, Fried Veal with Raisins, and Nut Tart

It is nice and quiet when the master goes out to hunt, but when he returns I must have food enough for an army if I'm not to face the brunt of his hungry wrath. They work up quite an appetite chasing animals around all day. I suppose it gives me time to prepare what they are to eat when they return.

Sometimes they bring back a boar, which takes a while to prepare, but it's simple once I get to the cooking part.

ROAST WILD BOAR

Boar is cooked like this: sponge it clean and sprinkle with salt and roast cumin. Leave to stand.

I usually must get one of the other slaves to help with this. The thing devolves from an animal to just a HUGE lump of stink and dried blood by the time it gets to the kitchen.

The following day, roast it in the oven. When it is done, scatter with ground pepper and pour on the juice of the boar, honey, liquamen, caroenum, and passum.

This uses up most of the liquamen, caroenum, and passum I have stored up. I then must set to ordering more liquamen from the market and then boiling wine and preparing grapes. But sometimes a search in the storerooms can turn out a few more vessels.

This dish has great symbolic importance. It displays my master's great wealth and generosity to his dinner guests, as well as the important status of those who eat it. Sometimes he will deign to have to served to guests of lower status, and once he mockingly had some served to a Jewish guest he had invited. I do not look favorably on these practices, but of course it is not in my position to judge. I am here merely to cook and look out for myself.

FRIED VEAL WITH RAISINS

Fried veal: pepper, lovage, celery seed, cumin, oregano, dried onion, raisins, honey, vinegar, wine garum, oil, defrutum.

Good ol' Apicius. He left little in lieu of what exactly to do with this long list of ingredients when writing this recipe. The master said he "trusted me" to make this dish to his family's liking. Oh, how I sweated as I prepared it! I fried the veal and made the rest into a sticky sauce. I applied the honey and oenogarum with a generous hand, so they enjoyed it. Phew.

NUT TART

Try patina as dessert: roast pine nuts, peeled and chopped nuts. Add honey, pepper, garum, milk, eggs, a little undiluted wine, and oil. Pour on to a plate.

This quickly satisfies the mistress' appetite for sweets, but the honey is so sticky that it's quite a pain to make. I suppose it's alright, as it tastes good when I lick my fingers. The recipe is improved by heating the honey and wine together first, until the wine has boiled away. I mix the eggs with milk, pepper, and garum separately. I coat the nuts in the wine-honey and then stir in the egg mixture (quite difficult). I must oil the oven pan well, lest the stuff stick too fast to it.

These are only a few of the things I prepare. I do not make boar often, but the fried veal and nut tart have become favorites.

Hello.

My name is Felix. I am a Roman slave, but not just any slave, mind you. I'm a cook in the house of one of the most prominent families in the city, thanks be to Jupiter Poeninus. I have it much better than my poor friends who have to entertain - in every sense of the word - the guests or my masters. And I definitely am luckier than the slaves in the mines. My name is fitting, I suppose.

I've been taught to read and write because my master saw fit to allow me to understand recipe books and make a few notes of my own. I'm a good cook. Almost every day I am allowed to handle the richest of ingredients - not just beef and veal, but also peacock and ostrich, and the freshest bounty from the sea. It's not always easy to prepare these things, but I enjoy the challenge and am rewarded often for my efforts. Sometimes just a little stolen taste of my cooking here and there is reward enough.

Although my life is quite good, nothing can compare to the taste of freedom. I cannot wait to start out on my own. I may not get to work with flamingo and rose petals every day, but it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make.